Life-long Love for Horses

Yesterday my cousin Pam said she had accomplished something on her bucket list. She bought a horse. Not just any horse, but a Paso Fino, one of the finest riding horses. I have always wanted to ride a Paso Fino. They are small horses with a gait so smooth a rider can hold a tray with a glass of wine in one hand and not spill a drop.

Pam rescued her three year old from a horse farm in Florida where the owners lost the farm through foreclosure and abandoned the horses. Now, Pam is not a young girl, though she looks younger than her years, and she has not yet ridden the horse, but she is doing what I would do if I had the land to keep a horse. She goes out to the farm and feeds him, she takes him for walks, loves on him and brushes him.

She watches him run in the pasture and says he has made her extremely happy. I can believe that. Horses are the most beautiful animals in the world to me. I can sit in a field and watch horses graze and I smile. From the age of ten, I wanted nothing as much as I wanted my own horse. I didn't get that horse until I graduated from college, but she was worth waiting for. My beloved mare, Pretty Thing, came into my life, thanks to my brother, Max, and a thirty year love affair began. When she was thirty-two years old, thin and frail, I had to put her down. It broke my heart, but she left me some great memories. 

Someone who knows I have had a life-long love for horses sent me the following link:

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Y5XJbSqwriM?rel=0

These are some of the most beautiful animals I've ever seen. If you

want to be impressed and awed by them, watch this video.

I Just Can't Multi-Task Anymore

When there is too much on my plate I get a bit unfocused. I never plan on that happening, but this past week I proved to myself --

I am not superwoman. I am not even related to superwoman.

For several days I prepared for this week. Some of the things on my schedule were hosting Coffee with the Poets on Wednesday morning where my dear friends, Mary Mike Keller and Estelle Rice, were reading.

Another thing was completing a photo presentation with over 100 pictures to scan into my computer, enhance and caption each one. I wanted to make sure that the families of each of my siblings were represented in the presentation and include some of my cousins who planned to be at the gathering of nieces, siblings, nephews, their children and grandchildren. 

During this preparation and learning to use Power Point and a borrowed projector, I also regularly talked with my brother's caregiver and tried to bolster his confidence in taking care of his father, deal with the weird medical world, and keep his sick mother calm. I couldn't sleep at night as I tossed and turned with "monkey mind" raging until the wee hours of the morning. 

Would my brother still be with us, or able to come to the reunion? Were his needs being met at home or would he have to be readmitted to the hospital? I was torn between wanting to be there with him and all the other things in my life such as Writers Circle, my business. 

At the same time, I learned that my dear niece, Lyn, had emergency surgery for a torn retina on Monday. She was terrified she might lose her sight. She had faced this trauma before and the outcome was not good. When I couldn't sleep at night, I prayed that she wouldn't lose her sight. But the worry did not go away.

Worry negated all my positive promises to myself. I work diligently  to be a positive person and so far it has worked fine. But this week I also wore my Interim Program Coordinator hat. The Netwest News should have gone out on May 1. The editor said she had to go out of town last weekend and asked me to complete it and mail it to our members. I agreed.

But, I had to go out of town last weekend to see my brother. I worked on the newsletter on my old antiquated, but well loved, laptop. It would not send the newsletter with all the graphics in place. When I arrived home on Sunday night, I sent the editor a note and said, I can't do this now. When it is complete, I will mail it.

It was Wednesday before we managed to get the newsy letter out to our members. That was one chore off my back.

But my PC hat was well in place, and I spent one hour or more on the phone discussing Netwest business. As I tried to multi-task, including doing laundry and pack, I made errors of judgement, I made errors in the reunion project which I am hosting, I forgot to pack some important photos, but I didn't forget to get a cat sitter.

Trying to be superwoman resulted in my stress level shooting higher and higher. I missed the writing event I was supposed to host. I let myself become fearful, become the woman I was a few years ago when I didn't have confidence in myself. I questioned whether I should have begun the reunion project all by myself.

But I did something right. I asked for help. I asked a writer friend to take over Coffee with the Poets for a few months. I let my sister come to my rescue and help me with the reunion duties. 

I realized I could not function on four hours of sleep each night so I am taking a sleep aid for a few more days until I get back on schedule. Lack of sleep knocks me off kilter. When I don't sleep I hurt from fibromyalgia which I've dealt with for about 15 years.

My regret is that I hurt the feelings of others. I raised my voice to those I love and cut them off on the phone. I lost track of my priorities for a while, but tonight I've regained my equilibrium.

By writing about this, I see what I need to do to be healthy again.

By writing to you, my readers, I have learned what has been happening in my life and how I must fix what I can. To anyone I have hurt this week, I'm sorry. I'll do better next week, I hope.

But that will be a full week as well. I begin teaching a new course on Healing through Writing and I will be reading at the John C. Campbell Folk School on May 16. I hope my brother will improve when he gets his pacemaker next week. My niece will be at the reunion because the doctor says she can go. I hope that means that her eye is healing and she will have full vision again.

For now this superwoman needs some sleep.

The Best Mother - and the Worst Mother

Today is Mother's Day. Every day should be Mother's Day. A good mother is the most valuable person in a child's life. A bad mother or a lack of a mother can have the worst possible effect on a child.

My Mother at 14, Lois Robison

Lois Robison Council

As we recently celebrated family with a gathering of my siblings and descendants of my parents, my mother's spirit was there, I know. I am convinced her purpose in life was to give her children the very best opportunity to live a happy life. She wanted me to grow up healthy because I had many childhood illnesses. She feared I would be hurt because I wore my feelings on my sleeves, and she saw how I could plummet to the depths of despair when someone hurt me. 

Like most mothers who love their children, she would have taken all pain from me and suffered it herself if she could. A good mother is selfless with her children. My friends said they wished she were their mother, not because she was easy on us, but because she was "motherly".

Not cut out for motherhood

I have seen women who don't seem to have the motherhood gene. A woman who lets a man come between her and her child is not a good mother. A woman who refuses to see that her boyfriend or husband abuses her child is a failure at motherhood.

Some mothers love their child, but don't enjoy their child. Mothers who can't show love, don't cuddle or hug a child, who are cold toward their child, teach them to be unfeeling and leave a lasting mark on that person. I have seen this behavior pass down through three generations. 

Unselfish Love

Mothers who love their children and show it, raise loving adults. That was my mother - the most loving person I have ever known. My sisters and I learned to love unselfishly. That is why on Mother's Day and every day, I think about my mother and what she did for me, gave me and taught me. Even now, after all the years she has been gone, I long to climb into her lap and feel her arms around me, smell the particular odor of her clean dress, her skin and the Ivory soap she used. Just a short time there cured most of my ills, and I am sure she would cure the sadness and sorrows of life now.

If I'd had children, I wanted to be exactly like my role model, the best mother in the whole world. 

Family, is there anything more important?

This weekend my sister, Gay, and I worked together on our family and friends reunion set for May 11-12. This Gathering is for the descendants of Coy Lee and Lois Robison Council, both born in the early 1900s. We have invited relatives and friends who are not direct descendants, but who have touched our lives. 

I am happy that my husband's brother's children are coming and will bring their children. Family members are bringing friends to spend the weekend at the lovely resort where we will gather. We have a new baby in the family and I look forward to meeting him for the first time. 

Jon Beall on Silver, the greatest little pony ever

We have a cousin from New Port Richy,  FL who is making the drive. She is special to me. We don't see each other often, but when we do we love to talk and laugh together. Her mother and her grandmother were close to our family. Some of my fondest recollections from my youth was when Aunt Annie and Vivian visited  They brought music and laughter with them. In those days when there was no TV gobbling up everyone's time, the family sat around the supper table and talked. Afterward, Aunt Annie would play guitar and sing. Vivian, her daughter harmonized beautifully. I was very young at that time, but I remember the haunting ballads and the funny, clever songs they sang.

Gay and I have gone through boxes and albums of old photos, and I must have scanned and posted over one hundred for a slide show presentation. Seeing those pictures brought back so many wonderful memories and also brought back the sadness of losing my brothers and my sister, June. Once we were seven.

Glenda and Gay, sisters, who can accomplish almost anything together

Now only three of us remain and my last brother is in very serious condition. I tell him he must be there for The Gathering to tell us one of his wonderful stories. He wants to be there and I pray he will be able to come.

Family of storytellers

My family has always been full of stories and we have always had good story tellers to share them. As I get older I understand even more how precious family is to us. No matter how much we might have disagreed or argued over things we thought were important, the love we have for each other is all that really matters. I talked with my brother today and missed that happy, pleasant man I've always known, I heard the weakness in his voice, the concern for his health, and the appreciation he has for those who help him. A thoughtful relative brought food. His sons are trying to make his life as easy as possible by setting up a hospital bed downstairs for him. Everyone is worried.

I was there a few days ago and wish I could be there to care for him, but we live miles apart. He said my visit made him feel better. I hope so. It made me feel better to see him, to go with him to his doctor, to talk with his sons and try to help them as best I could. 

Life is short

I hope if you are estranged from a loved one, a brother or sister, a parent, you will reach out to them and forgive them if they have hurt you, because, in the big scheme of things, is that what really matters? Even if they don't forgive and forget, you will feel better knowing you have. 

Your Thoughts on Clean Air?

As most of my readers know, I have chemical sensitivity, which is not an allergy, but an extreme sensitivity to most chemicals. Fragranced products are the worst for me. Air Fresheners, perfume, scented laundry products and dryer sheets are common triggers that will throw me into an asthma attack or severe bronchitis.

Many sufferers of chemical sensitivity have toxic homes and must move out. I believe that my home, although much safer than most places for me, is toxic as well. The plastic bags that come in with me when I shop are toxic for me. Cat litter is toxic for me and I have a cat. Odors from other people who enter my house linger after they are gone. Many items in my home and used in my home probably off-gas chemicals.

I use no scented products of any kind. My soap is unscented, my paper goods are unscented, all of my personal products must be unscented. When I checked into my room at the Hampton Inn in Albany, GA this week, I was annoyed at first because the chemically sweet scent of something hit me in the face. I had specifically asked for a room that had not been sprayed with an "air freshener" or anything with a fragrance. I also asked that they use an "ionizer" which is an air purifier most hotels have on hand to clean smoke from a room where someone has broken the no smoking rule.

The first thing I did at the Hampton Inn was to open the door and leave it open while I brought in my luggage. The next thing I did was to bring in my own Holmes air purifier and set it on 4, the highest setting. I noticed the scented air was stronger near the bath. I found the culprit lurking in the soap dishes, still tightly wrapped, but putting out powerful odors and chemicals that polluted the air throughout the room. 

I stayed in that room for three days and nights and slept better than I do at home. Once I rid the room of the soap and cleaned the air, the bed was delightfully comfortable, the sheets crisp and cool, unscented and clean.

Jennifer Parker's Foundation

I read an article from this site today.   Jennifer Parker is one of us, the millions of people who suffer from environmental illness. She has started a non-profit foundation that is helping people, like me, with MCS, find non toxic housing. I hope you will click on her page and see what she has to say about this illness that so many suffer from and many don't even know it.

My brother has been diagnosed with COPD and CHF, two terminal illnesses. He and I can't go down the detergent aisle of the grocery store and breathe. I wear a carbon mask when I enter the store. He just tries to run and get what he needs and get away from the cleaning products.

At home, his son thinks he is breathing in toxic fumes from a gas heater and I can tell his house needs a good air purifier going all the time. 

As we age, our immune system becomes overwhelmed with the toxins we ingest into our bodies, by eating, breathing, and rubbing on our skin. It is the elderly, ill and the youngest of us who suffer most with the chemicals in our every day use of synthetically manufactured products, many made from petroleum. We need to take a stand against putting toxic chemicals into products we buy at the grocery store, the pharmacy, and products we use daily. As Americans we believe that if it is on the shelf and sold to the public it must be safe, right? Wrong! 

Does the smell of an air freshener make a room clean?

We have been convinced by TV ads that air fresheners make a room smell clean. If the room needs air fresheners, it likely is not clean but has been sprayed to make the public think it is clean. 

I noticed the cleaners used by the housekeepers at the Hampton Inn and spied a horrible toxic spray - Fabreeze fabric freshener. Later I saw the manager going door to door and spraying this in each room after the rooms were cleaned. If I had gone into one of those rooms where she had just sprayed, my bronchial tubes would have swollen and shut down. I would have become very hoarse, and if I had stayed in that room, likely I'd end up with serious bronchitis that could incapacitate me. I might have ended up in the hospital.

I will support Jennifer Parker's foundation, and other organizations that are working to give us unpolluted indoor air. Visit www.EWG.org to learn what products are safe.
Thank you all, my friends and readers, for stopping by. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on clean air and safe houses.

News from the Folk School

Read this post on the John C. Campbell Folk School blog. After many years with Bob Dalsemer leading the dance program there, a new and talented woman is taking over. Read what Annie Fain has to say.

https://blog.folkschool.org/2013/05/03/annie-fain-takes-the-reins-of-music-and-dance/

HEALING, WRITING AND TAKING WRITING CLASSES

For my writer friends, I have a couple of prompts for you. We used these in our last class at Tri-County College this week. I decided to write along with my students and enjoyed remembering an uncle who has long since passed on.

The prompt: I will never forget her/his voice...

Another prompt: It was an ordinary day...

Many times our greatest triumphs or our greatest tragedies happen on what begins as an ordinary day.

I am taking a short break before beginning classes at Writers Circle with a six week course, Tuesday afternoons, 2 - 4 o'clock. On May 14 we start with Healing through Writing. Call me at 828-389-4441 if you would like to come. 

This is a course for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, gone through a divorce, been emotionally damaged by life and for people who enjoy writing. 

Some of our best writers, most acclaimed authors, found that writing was a way to deal with their childhood abuse both mental and physical. Sylvia Plath was one of them. From those writings came some of their best work. 

Henry Miller was on the verge of suicide because his wife had left him for a mutual friend, a woman, when he found himself at his typewriter pouring out his sorrow and anger on paper. His best selling books, Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn, resulted from this kind of writing. 

While I sat with my ill husband for weeks in the hospital and then in a hospice center, my writing saved my sanity, I believe. Drugs kept him sleeping most of the time, and I sat with my laptop open and writing everything I was thinking, feeling, hoping for and afraid of. Little did I know that what I was doing was helping me physically. 

In the class on Healing through Writing, we will practice some of the techniques from Dr. Pennebaker's research on opening up about trauma in our lives. We will not always share what we write, but it is a good possibility that we will discover things we had not thought about ourselves, and we might come up with a few publishable essays or poems.

Sign up for Table Rock Writers at Wildacres Retreat

Last year I had the great pleasure of attending Table Rock Writers Conference at Wildacres Retreat, Little Switzerland, NC just off the Parkway. They are preparing for the 2013 workshop, September 9-13, 2013. I urge you to go if you want to have a great week with great writing instructors and the opportunity to meet interesting fellow poets and writers. 

I took Darnell Arnoult 's classes on memoir. Abigail DeWitt  teaches novel writing. This year Judy Goldman, author of the wonderful book, Losing My Sister, is teaching “Writing Memoir and Personal Narrative."  

Joseph Bathanti, Poet Laureate of NC will teach poetry. More outstanding presenters are on the roster of this excellent workshop.

Visit the website  http://tablerockwriters.wordpress.com/

Bill Ramsey Writes His Thoughts on Editing

A word about editing from Bill Ramsey

A recent conversation with a forty year veteran of independent book store
ownership focused upon the difference between books from publishers versus
those from  self-published authors. I started the conversation by telling
him that I was trying to force myself to finish reading a new book about our
thirtieth president, Calvin Coolidge. The book was written by a
well-regarded author of history and published by a well-recognized name in
the publishing business.

This book appears to have had no real editing. Spelling and punctuation
mistakes were not the issue. However, long and awkward sentences made the
reading a chore. Inclusion of historic facts that had nothing to do with
Coolidge made the book 500 pages instead of the 300 pages that would have
given it focus and pace.

Narrow Gap Now

My book seller friend observed that the wide gap between high quality
self-published books and books from publishers has grown narrow. Even major
publishers are not providing the quality of editing they once did.

Let the writer beware. Using a publisher does not assure that quality
editing is going to be a part of the package. Of course, if the writer
decides to self-publish, the writer must pay for a quality editing. Editing
really makes a difference in the reading experience. We should not let our
hard work be hurt by failing to get a proper editing.

Bill Ramsey 

What kind of an editor do you need? What can an editor do for you?

At the conference in Blue Ridge Georgia this weekend, I had a conversation with C. Hope Clark, Ellen Schofield, her husband Paul, author of the Trophy Saga, and Ronda Birtha.

We discussed the enormous numbers of errors we find in published books today. Like me, Hope is often asked to read manuscripts or books and write a review. We talked about the biggest mistake most authors make. They don't get a professional editor for their work before they self-publish or they publish with a small press that doesn't edit their work.

We heard from speakers today that some well known writers refuse to let an editor change more than one word or two of their books. Now that is the height of arrogance to me. Perhaps that is why many readers in the audience piped up with how many errors they find in the books by these authors. More and more I find that, reading like a writer as I now do, I am stopped by the mistakes I find in books, even those by NY publishers. 

In an article by David Kudler, he says that J.K. Rowling's first book was too long, had long passages that repeated itself, and needed work, but it was published. He says her future books showed more concern for the way the book was written and had the evidence of a good editor at work. Suffice it to say, Rowling was a good writer before she published a book, but I see far too many writers who are not that gifted who think they can let their sister or some other person who has a college degree,  read over their book and that is enough.

In Kudler's article he points out the myths writers believe about editing and editors.

I suggest to all my students who want to publish a book, find a good professional editor. And don't be so stubborn you won't listen to what you are told. 

Clark said she is continually asked to review mysteries since she published Lowcountry Bribe which is a very good read. She is dismayed at the manuscripts she receives that are so poorly written. I don't mean incorrect punctuation or sagging dialogue. Some books start off with a bang and after two chapters the whole story slumps and when that happens the reader wants to put it aside and never finish it. His sister won't tell the author about this, likely, but she will say what she is expected to say. "You did a great job, Brother." Perhaps sister doesn't know what needs to be fixed anyway. So she can't be helpful.

But a good editor cares not for your feelings so much as she cares for your book. She wants to help make your book the best it can be. That is why she is in the business. 

I could never be a good editor. I hate to edit my own work. But I will do the best I can with my writing before I send it on to someone else. And I want that someone else to tell me the truth. I can sit down with my students' stories and point out the grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes, and how to rearrange paragraphs to move the story along, but I would not attempt a book of 200 plus pages.

I made a big mistake when I published my family history book fifteen years ago. I did not hire an editor. Now I am ashamed for people to see how poorly it was written. I had not taken enough writing classes to know what I was doing. 

Please read this article by David Kudler if you are writing a book, fiction or non-fiction, and if you want to know just what an editor can do for you.

If you have problems with the Word Verification for comments, just send your comments to me by email: nightwriter0302@yahoo.com
I can post them on this blog.

You might find this article interesting:
Common Grammar

What are you waiting for?

Read Hope Clark's blog post on procrastination.

 Her blog has so much good information in it, and I love to read it.

I look forward to seeing her this weekend at Blue Ridge Writers Conference in Blue Ridge GA. (see sidebar for info.)

Poetry Month - Get Your Daily Poem

During Poetry Month, April, Jayne Jaudon Ferrer, of your daily poem, sends a poem a day through email. I will receive a poem, usually one I really enjoy, because Jayne chooses poems that are accessible but interesting, touching and thought-provoking.

If you'd like to receive a poem each day in your inbox, click on Jayne's site, http://www.yourdailypoem.com/ and put in your email address which is not shared with anyone. You will enjoy the poems during the poetry month of April.

Do You Support Other Writers and Friends?

JC Walkup, writer, editor and publisher

On www.netwestwriters.blogspot.com site, JC Walkup wrote a post about why writers should join our chapter of NCWN. I like what she said about us. She said we are not in competition with each other, we support each other and always help our writing friends when they need it.

It sounds too good to be true, but she is right.
I don't know if I could have published as much of my work if I had not had writers like Estelle Rice, Michelle Keller, Janice Moore, Carol Crawford, and Nancy Simpson who read my stories and poems and gave me honest and helpful suggestions to how I could make my work better. We do this for each other.

Get Feedback
I can share my work with other writers in NCWN West and get good feedback, not mean-spirited criticism, or jealousy. I think we all truly want the best for each other. Nothing pleases me more than to see the success of my friends and my students.

Wouldn't it be great if more people, instead of trying to step on someone to get ahead, tried lifting someone instead?

I have found that when I lift someone up, I rise with them. 

I have never gained anything good by putting down others. 

When I try to improve myself, when I compete with my own results, I come closer to achieving my goals.

Be an Example

If I had a child, I would tell him, "Try to be the best person you  can be, and treat your fellow man as you would want him to treat you. Then you can live and enjoy a good life." 

And the child would likely say, "Please, don't preach to me!"

Because, you can't tell people anything and expect them to listen. Just as we say in writing class, show, don't tell.
Let you life be a lesson.  

Read More Okra?

 This is from Nicki Leone's site. Do you know what is meant by Okra Picks?

Authors 'Round the South

(Columbia, SC) January 1, 2013 -- Make a New Year’s Resolution to Read more Okra! The 2013 Winter Spring Okra Picks have been chosen: twelve Southern books, new for the spring publishing season. All have two things in common: they are southern in nature, and there is a southern indie bookseller that loves each one!

Winter Spring Okra Picks List!

A Long Day at the End of the World by Brent Hendricks

Farrar Straus Giroux | $14.00 | 9780374146863

Fiction | March 12, 2013

Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler

St. Martin’s Press | $24.99 | 9781250014528

Fiction | February 12, 2013

Hope’s Gift by Kelly Starling Lyons

Putnam Publishing Group | $16.99 | 9780399160011

Children’s | December 27, 2012

The House Girl by Tara Conklin

William Morrow & Company | $25.99 | 9780062207395

Fiction | February 12, 2013

The Lee Bros. Charleston Kitchen by Ted and Matt Lee

Clarkson N Potter | $35.00 | 9780307889737

Cooking | February 26, 2013

Life After Life by Jill McCorkle

Shannon Ravenel Books | $24.95 | 9781565122550

Fiction | March 26, 2013

The Next Time You See Me by Holly Goddard Jones

Touchstone Books | $24.99 | 9781451683363

Fiction | February 12, 2013

Nothing Gold Can Stay: Stories by Ron Rash

Ecco Press | $24.99 | 9780062202710

Fiction | February 19, 2013

Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys

Philomel Books | $17.99 | 9780399256929

Young Adult | February 12, 2013

Wash by Margaret Wrinkle

Atlantic Monthly Press | $25.00 | 9780802120663

Fiction | February 5, 2013

Wings of Glass by Gina Holmes

Tyndale House | $13.99 | 9781414366418

Fiction | March 1, 2013

The Wisdom of Hair by Kim Boykin

Berkley | $15.00 | 9780425261057

Fiction | March 5, 2013

Okra Picks are chosen by Southern Indie Booksellers each season as the upcoming southern titles they are most looking forward to hand selling. For more information visit sibaweb.com/okra.

Have you read any of the books listed above? If so, tell us what you think.

Writers from Foreign Countries?

Our most popular post last week was You Can Read Us in Any Language Now. We had over 270 page views for that post alone. Does that mean we have more foreign viewers now? Our German viewers increased and we had almost as many of them as we did good old U.S. viewers. 

I love to read the Stats on my blogs. I like to see what countries find us interesting. But then, I wonder how many spammers come from these countries and leave comments that have to be deleted.

I love this country! Photo taken in Canada. Lovely people there, too.